THREE REASONS YOUR MAMA OR BESTIE CANNOT BE YOUR REPLACEMENT THERAPIST
1. They tend to be biased!
It is absolutely wonderful to have supportive people in your corner. However, these same people tend to be biased. Meaning, they tend to see the problem through a ground floor lens. Have you ever seen a movie where the main character was unaware of the bad guy just around the corner. The main character lacked the ability to see what was taking place just mere feet away from them. However, in your living room, you could see the things the main character can’t because you have a birds eye view of the whole scene. Your friends and family tend to be like the main character in many movies. While they may be able to spot things, there are many things they are unable to notice because their perspective is from a ground floor view. But, a therapist can see the larger picture of what is happening and then can help you elevate your perspective as well!
2. They most likely are just as messed up and confused about life as you!
Have you heard the saying “Birds of a feather flock together.” It is likely that your friends or family experience similar struggles as you. I think it is helpful to support each other through these problems. But, if this is your only source to resolve your problem, you may be disappointed in the long run. You might receive helpful advice for this one occasion, but it may not help you break the cycle of that pattern that keeps occurring in your life.
3. They are not educated and trained to help you with your specific problem!
Your mama or your bestie is most likely not a therapist that is highly competent in helping clients like you resolve their problems. And, even if they are a therapist, it is unethical for them to be your therapist due to the fact that they are too closely involved and lack neutrality which makes them susceptible to bias and more likely to do harm than good.
Conclusion
I’m not saying don’t talk to your mama or your bestie about your problems. Reaching out to your friends and family members can be a great support for you! What I am saying is talking with them will not change the deeper concerns related to your problem. For instance, the reason you keep getting into the same relationship over and over again may have to do with your childhood. A therapist can help you uncover your previous story, narrate this current chapter of your life, and be an active participant in writing the stories of your future. Your mama or bestie may give you great advice. However, a therapist can help you change on a deeper level!
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